It can be really difficult at times to help our children financially. It is something which we will really want to be able to do but we may feel that we are unqualified to give the advice and perhaps not well off enough to give them money. This can be a source of frustration for us. However, if children do come and ask us for help, we should feel that we can help them with out knowledge. Even if we are not good at managing our own money, it does not mean that we cannot help someone to be better than us. We may have learned form our mistakes and have some interesting thoughts about how things could be done better, even if we do not actually do those things ourselves.
What type of help to give?
It can be hard knowing specifically what help to give. Often it is best to stay out of things unless they actually come for help. If you try to make suggestions it is likely that they will be cross and think that you are sticking your nose in and that it is none of your business. However, it can be useful to mention that you are available to give help if they need it.
Sometimes it can feel like financial help can be the best answer and there are some parents that will just give their children money. This is obviously not something all parents can do, but even those that do it may not be doing the right thing. This is because giving children money like this might not work out for the best. If they rely on you giving them money then it may mean that they will no attempt to be self-sufficient. They may not learn to budget or how to earn extra money so that are able to support themselves. Then, when it comes to the time when you are no longer able to help them, they will really struggle and not know what to do. It can be really hard refusing them money though and it can feel like you are being really cruel. It can be even harder if they get upset or even fall out with you over it, but it is worth trying to explain to them why you are making that decision.
What about bad credit loans?
If they ask about getting bad credit loans and whether you would recommend it, this can be tricky. You may worry about them having these but there may be no need to worry. It is wise to have a chat about them though about it. They should make sure that they are confident that they will be able to repay the loans. This can be tricky though and it could be good for you to actually go through the figures with them. Firstly, look at the loan that they intend to take out and calculate how much they will have to repay and when. You should be able to find this out by looking on the lender’s website. They should have a calculator where you will be able to work this out. If they do not have one or it is tricky to work it out then contact the lender. They should be able to talk you through it and explain everything so that you know exactly what will happen. Then you will be able to work out whether this is affordable,
Do not take your child’s word for it if they just say they can manage though. Look at their finances and work out whether they really will be able to manage. You need to think about what things they need to pay for, what their income is and whether they will be able to afford to make this repayment or repayments and still manage everything else. Talk it all through with them. Also discuss what they will need to do in order to budget and make sure that they have a plan in place so that if they do get short of money. Discuss ways that they might be able to earn more money or to spend less.
It can be hard to have a conversation like this with a loved one. Somehow it is easier to fall out over sensitive subjects with loved ones than other people and money can be a really sensitive subject. However, it can be worthwhile if it means that they will make the right decision. If you can keep calm and explain that you really want to help them then hopefully this will really help. It might also be a case of talking about it on several occasions so that you can remain calm about it all. Persevere as your help could be the difference between them making sensible or unwise decisions.